Pyro's Life: August 2004 </A>

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Short due to a Marshall

NP Emily
by Bowling For Soup

Looking at Marshall amps, pretty normal day. Im gonna keep looking so I can get to bed at a decent hour :).


Monday, August 30, 2004

Another Monday

Don't Mondays always seem like they last forever? Summer moves by so fast, and the school year drags on. I've only been in school for a week. Thats it. One week... holy crap...

Well, today wasn't too bad school wise. Biology was kinda dull, surprisingly enough. The most exciting thing in that class was when I dropped the graduated cylinder on the floor and it splashed everywhere. Algebra II wasn't too bad. Got good scores on my quiz, homework, and stuff. Carrie is in that class too, which is cool. Seminary was seminary. There was a slight chance that Megan was going to get to be in my seminary class, but she ended up with Brother Anderson instead. Oh well, we just kinda talked and stuff on the way there so at least I can see her before and after class.

After school, I went to my grandparents like I normally do. Mowed the lawn, came home and hung out. Then we went to the mall for a little while and I played around with some effects pedals. Then we went to my Aunt Trudy's so she could brainstorm some ideas for my room. It's gonna be awesome whenever it finally gets done...

Trying to come up with some money so I can finally buy my guitar... any ideas or schemes would be apreciated. Trying to think of anything at all that I could possibly sell... hmm.


Sunday, August 29, 2004


NP-Easy Target
by Blink-182

Not literally a hangover. But I ache all over from last night. Last night was like the ultimate test of endurance. Mentally, physically, emotionally :). Now I am physically exhausted, emotionally exhausted, mentally exhausted. Woke up at like ten thirty because I stayed up till two or so watching a movie. So yes, I am still tired. School tomorrow... oh joy. Algebra II is my only hard class though, so I guess it can't be that bad. Today I just kinda hung around. I was really nauseated because of who knows why, but I just sat and watched a movie and it eventually went away. Then my mom and I dreamed up some plans for my room and I played guitar and cleaned my room. That was my evening.

Finished a poem I started a very long time ago. I just found it tonight and thought 'eh, what the heck, I'll finish it'. So I did. Check out 'Torsion' if anyone gets a chance. No one ever comments on my webpage, probably cause no one actually reads this :). I might have to start adveritising a little... ;).

-Shane (school tomorrow... can't wait for Biology, and never thought I would EVER say that).

Saturday, August 28, 2004


Something Corporate
(my all time favorite song)

I can't imagine all the people that you know and the places that you go when the lights are turned down low and I don't understand all the things you've seen but i'm slipping inbetween you and your big dreams it's always you in my big dreams and you tell me that it's over wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers and your restless, and i'm naked you've gotta get out you can't stand to see me shaking no could you let me go? I didn't think so and you don't wanna be here in the future so you say the present's just a pleasent interruption to the past and you don't wanna look much closer cuz your afraid to find out all this hopeyou had sent into the sky by now had crashed and it did because of me and then you bring me home afraid to find out that you're alone and i'm sleeping in your living room but we don't have much room to live I had these dreams that i learned to play guitar maybe cross the country become a rock star and there was hope in me that i could take you there but dammit you're so young well i don't think i care and if i hurt you then i'm sorry please don't think that this was easy then you bring me home cuz we both know what it's like to be alone and i'm dreaming in your living room but we don't have much room to live and konstantine is walking down the stairs doesn't she look good standing in her underwear and i was thinking what i was thinking we've been drinking and it doesn't get me anywhere my Konstantine came walking down the stairs and all that i could do is touch her long blonde hair and i've been thinking it hurts me thinking that these nightswhen we were drinking no they never got us anywhere no this is because i can spell konfusion with a k and i like it it's to dying in another's arms and why I had to try it it's to jimmy eat world and those nights in my car when the first star you see may not be a star I'm not your star isn't that what you said what you thought this song meant and if this is what it takes just to lie in my mistakes and live with what i did to you and all the hell I put you through I always catch the clock it's 11:11 and now you want to talk it's not hard to dream you'll always be my konstantine konstantine, they'll never hurt you like i do no they'll never hurt you like i do no, no, no no no no no no this is to a girl who got into my head with all the pretty things she did hey you know you keep me up in bed this is to a girl who got into my head with all the fsked up things i did hey maybe baby you could keep me up in bed my Konstantine spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen and i said did you know i missed you? I miss you. And then you bring me home and we'll go to sleep, but this time, not alone, no no and you'll kiss me in your living room i know you'll miss me in your living room cuz these nights i think maybe that i'll miss you in my living room we don't have much room i said does anybody need that room? because we all need a little more room to live my Konstantine

I am sorry there are no real punctuation marks. Live with it :).

Today was... long. Fun, hard, good, bad, long. I worked most of today on my room. Got a whole lot done. I hope to have it finished by October *knock on wood*.

After that, I got ready and went to Kara's house for a little bit before the dance and just kinda hung out. We went to the dance and things got interesting.

For the first time ever, it was an outdoors. In my opinion, kinda cool. I dont know if I like it better, but regardless, it was fun.

A lot of it was hard, extremely hard. I really don't want to write it down here, so I'm not going to. I know I'll remember it, there is no way it could leave my mind. 'Tatoo it on this tainted heart...'

Though, there were tons of times that it was extremely fun. It quickly switches from one extreme to another. There hasn't been one single stake dance that hasn't been dramatic in some way shape or form. All I can do is salvage what I can to make it a good experience. Because, I truly did have fun. There were some hard times, and emotionally it is all I can do to watch someone so broken... especially when you know there isn't a ton you can do to help. I really wish I could write, and not being able to is driving me crazy. A lot of my old stuff clicks well (check out 'Imagine' and 'Black and White' at but I can't write anything new. My head is too full of all this crap flying around.

Well, enough of that. The dance really was a blast. Just ran around doing weird dance moves and acting like a freak. Dave, Jared and I created a few just for fun. Then slow dances, I tried to dance all of them. Danced with Kara twice. Also danced with Trish, Chelsey, Lori, Sarah, some girls I don't know, I can't remember everyone :). It was fun though, really really cool to dance with Chelsey. Music was for the most part, half decent. I ran around screaming 'Avril Lavigne sucks' when 'Skater Boy' was playing. Then the last dance when I was dancing with Trish, Mike was giving us an evil glare. I always think its hilarious when he does that. I just smiled and flipped him off. I probably am a jerk, I'll repent for that one. Still it was satisfying and funny at the same time.

Well, I am going to hate myself tomorrow. Gonna ache all over... oh well. Maybe I will be able to sleep tonight. That would be cool.

I wonder how the events of next week will unfold. My birthday is comming up, meaning I'm a tad bit closer to my guitar! Dan is going to teach me lessons every Wednesday. He is an amazing teacher, I learn so much from him. And on top of that, he's an awesome guy. Lets hope this next week goes well.


Three days missed...

Wow, I can't believe I have missed three whole days... thats pathetic for me. Not a ton of extremely important events, mostly school and working every day in the basement. Friday night was fun, I went to the football game and met up with Kara, Skyler, Trisha, and Mikelle. Then after the 'events' of the game, we went to Kara's house and brought David and Mariah with us. Just hung out at Kara's, which was fun. Mostly just talked and goofed off the whole time.

Woke up today and got to work on my room with my Grandpa, and now my Dad and I are mudding it as fast as we can. Then the dance is tonight, which should be fun. I really hope something good comes out of it and it doesn't turn into a big dramatic waste. Lets pray so at least...

Well, back to mudding. I would love any comments on my latest poem:
Transpose to Something Forgotten, check it out.


Tuesday, August 24, 2004

So much better then yesterday...

My B day kicks major-A over my 'A' day. First period, I ran around and helped kids open their lockers all period long (office aid). Second period was just plain funny, Mr. Dibb is an awesome guy and is just dang cool which will make Biology so much easier. Algebra II... well, it's Algebra II. Smith is an alright guy. Carrie is in that class, which is really awesome. She's a cute girl and its fun to talk to her. Last period is Seminary, which was also totally awesome. It's so cool to have a little spiritual boost during school. Kinda weird, in a good way though.

After school, I went to my Grandparents and mowed the lawn. My grandma and I ran to Sonic for some food, then I stopped off at the local guitar store to see what they had. Not a whole ton, mostly an Ibanez store. Nice to have a local store with strings, straps, and other accessories though.

After that, came home and mopped the floor (oh joy, how fun). Then Mitch came over and I taught him more guitar stuff. I also started writing more music while he was here. Wrote a piano piece with a backup guitar part. Haven't worked on a lead part yet, I probably will get the whole thing done after I get my Gibson SG. Also, haven't fitted it to any of my music. Hopefully I will be able to get that done.

Mitch and I went to mutual with our guitars to continue lessons. It turned more into a little jam session. Not really playing together, cause Mitch was just mostly goofing off and I was rehersing Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) and a bunch of other stuff. I have to keep learning and progressing. I want to learn more cool acoustic songs since I'm on an acoustic kick now :). Power chords just aren't the same on an acoustic guitar. I love my acoustic though. I played for about four hours today, on and off. I just love playing., don't have anything planned. I gotta make some cash somehow... I need my guitar really really bad. I also hope the dude from Puerto Rico gets my money order to me soon. I need the cash...


Monday, August 23, 2004

School Day One...

I have like three minutes till I have to go to bed. My mom is on a new 'get to bed by 11 exactly' kick. Meaning that my writing majorly suffers... I get all my good writing done late in the evening.

Today wasn't amazingly exciting. Cool to see some of my friends again who I haven't seen over the summer. I kept thinking that I saw Mitch, Kara, and Jessie around the building... of course, I don't. Mitch and Kara are at the High School and Jessie is in High School in the great state of Montana. It's just... weird I guess. I don't know if I really quite like it yet, it is different being the oldest in the school. No older girls to hit on anyways ;).

Disclosure document day mostly, cept Yearbook when we were all wrapped in Sarran wrap. I got my Birthday Present from Jessie and Elise today, which majorly kicked A and was hilarious. I recorded it all so they could watch my expression. Interesting gifts, but I won't mention most of them till Kara sees them. Other then my kick-A poster of Amy Lee who is THE best vocalist on the planet. Period. And my Something Corporate video that Elise recorded for me forever back.

Well, its 'past curfew' so I get to go to bed. Oh joy... anyways, getting up early so I can get some guitar practice in. Geez, school screws up everything... no more four hour jam sessions ;).


Sunday, August 22, 2004

Last day till school...

NP-American Idiot ('American Idiot' the album comes out on September 21st.)
by Green Day

Today wasn't majorly exciting. Went to church, came home, went home teaching, came back home. Then I hung out trying to finish my Algebra II homework and went for a walk with my family. Came home, played guitar and got last minute school stuff done. That was pretty much my last day...

Hopefully tomorrow will be good. I am expecting a lot out of this next year. I really hope it's going to be a good year. I know a lot is going to change. It's a whole new ballgame, brand new rollercoaster to ride. It's gonna be one heck of a ride.

So I wish everyone the best of luck over the year. Hopefully we will all be able to get through another year alive.


First Day of School (kinda) and Saturday

NP-The Red
by Chevelle

Well, yesterday was an interesting day. We basically helped seventh graders all day long. We made cotton candy (spelling?) and ran papers around while directing lost seventh graders around. It was fun actually, tiring, yet fun. Mostly ran around with Steph and Carrie the whole time. Then I went home and talked on the phone with Kara for a little bit. Also sold my guitar to Mitch for $130, meaning that by my birthday I should only be about 70 away (or so). If I am really lucky, I might be able to make that cash by then. After that I shot pool with Trisha and Kara.

Today I woke up around 8 and worked on my room with my grandpa. I swear, I have never met a man more generous, hard working, and willing to help then he is. We got a lot done, and hopefully will be able to finish more come Monday.

Monday... first day of school. I really hope a lot changes over this next year. I actually am excited, for the social experience more then the academic experience. The only thing it takes away is time with my family, time with my friends, and time with my guitar.

The rest of today, I played with my little brother until we had to go to the Ward Party. Played softball for the first time since who knows how long. That was fun to play again. Mitch and I hung out and ate the great Samoan food till we were sick. We had fun by putting on random name tags with interesting stuff on them. I changed my name to Tom and Mitch changed his to Mark and I put on another nametag below 'Tom' that said 'I play the guitar'. It was fun when the little kids who didn't have a clue who I was called me Tom. Or anyone who was yelling at me to do something called me Tom. So, I had a reason to ignore them :).

Then we had to go do our little dances. We had to take our shirts off and put on these LavaLava thingys. It was freaking weird, simply because I was the tannest kid there, and that is saying a lot (lol). I decided to put my Tom sticker on the left side of my bare chest and the 'I play guitar' sticker on the right, just because I could. Then I put this weird bandana thing on my head and wore a sheet for fun. Then got my Quicksilver belt and wore it like a sash just for kicks. I hope I can get pictures, because I looked like I was majorly drunk.

After that, we stayed to clean up FOREVER! It seemed like we were the last people there. I was supposed to meet Kara at eight to go hang out with her and Trisha. The party thing got over at like 8:20 and I didn't even get to the bowling alley till 9:40. Shot pool with Trisha and Kara, which was fun. Then just came home and wrote in this.

One day left till school...


Saturday, August 21, 2004


NP- Broken
by Seether and Amy Lee

Who knows what my problem is or what is going on. I can't even begin to describe how I feel. Broken is the only word that even comes close. Broken and Hollow. Emotionless, empty, alone. Though, I shouldn't. Tonight I really wasn't nearly as upbeat and happy as I should have been. But I can't fake emotion that doesn't exist. I've done it before, I couldn't this time. I just felt sick to my stomach and extremely solemn. Light headed, like I was going to pass out. Why or how that can happen when you just look at someone, I have no clue. I had no real reason to be upset, no reason to not feel happy (other then school). I don't know what my problem is, but hopefully I will be able to have Jessie get it out of me, she tends to be great at doing that. I'm just going to go to sleep after I'm done in hopes that I feel better. Things just don't seem right, and I thought it was something between everyone else. But now, I guess it is something with me. I'll blog the rest later tomorrow.


Thursday, August 19, 2004

Five guys, a girl, and football

NP- Break Myself
by Something Corporate
(second NP- Obvious by Blink 182)

Break Myself... I swear that is the theme of my life. 'I'm willing to break myself... I'm not afraid'. And I really am. I'm willing to do whatever it takes not for my own happyness, but hers. 'I'm willing to bleed for days, my reds and grays, so you don't hurt so much'. Screw my happyness, I have gotten to the point where I don't care about me anymore. Gotten to the point where I don't care if I am loved, don't care if I am alone. I just want her to be happy. For him to stop being a bastard and stop playing her. For him to actually love her so she can be happy. For all this to stop. For things to work out the way they are supposed to. For her to be able to just smile, be happy and laugh without problems lingering in the back of her mind. I would Break Myself for a change, a difference.

Well, today I got up way too early for my own good. I was dying... but I told my grandpa to be here and we would get to work. He's ususally feeling better earlier in the morning anyways. So, we worked on my room. Finished sheetrocking the ceiling and were done by about noon. Then I hung around till I called Kara and we decided to do something. So, we went to play Football with Mitch and his friend John. That was fun, we just goofed off and had a good time. Saw Jared and Sean so we talked to them for a bit too. Then we all headed back to my place and played guitar and piano, just a little mini jam session for fun.

After that, hung out at home and watched my little brother while my parents headed to somewhere. I don't even remember where to be honest. Then Kimball called me and Kara, Jared, Mitch and I headed to the movies. Saw Shrek 2 again. And the rest is history.

Obvious is awesome live, you can feel more emotion then you can from the studio recorded version. if you haven't seen it. Maybe it's more of a 'means something to me' kinda thing. Who knows, I get to get up and go to school tomorrow and sit through that while I sort things out. Not worrying about them didn't work for me. I swear something will change. I will make sure of it.

''I'm willing to break myself to shake this hell from everything I touch...''


Wednesday, August 18, 2004

NP- Crawling in the Dark

First off, Hoobastank's first CD is SO much better then 'The Reason' and Crawling in the dark is a kick-A song. Their old stuff reminds me more of Thrice, just heavier and much better. Cooler lyrics and darker riffs over the same cliche theme of 'The Reason'. Crawling in the Dark defines the kind of sound and mood I have been shooting for this entire time. Kind of a 'Punk Goth' thing, but it is THE perfect sound I have been looking for. Perfect mood, perfect theme. Something that my lyrics would fit perfectly into. I can't wait to play my guitar tomorrow.

lol, I love getting excited when I can really feel something and it just totally clicks.

Today, I worked a little on my basement with my grandpa, then got out of the shower and Jessie and Katy came over. Then we called Kara and she came shortly after. It was cool to see Jessie again, but it is kinda hard to talk to her while Katy is around, just because Katy and Jessie tend to have to hurt each other (physically) in some way whenever they are together. So, not like a real conversation could be carried on. Still it was fun. Jessie and Katy left at 5 because Jessie had to go back to Ogden. Kara stayed though for a little while. So, we stayed out in the front yard and tossed the football around for a while. Then we went inside and played Truth or Dare Jenga with my little sister till my brother's soccer game. We went to the game, hoping to find someone to go to see Shrek 2 with since we couldn't go alone together. Kimball fell through because he didn't have his gay summer packet done. So, Kara just ended up walking home from the soccer game and we didn't end up going to the movie.

After Bryan's game, we went to Wal Mart and I sat out in the car for about an hour and a half listening to the radio. Then we went to Yogurt Parlor. Mitch almost has enough cash to buy my Electric guitar, meaning I am that much closer to my SG.

Well, it's late and I should be asleep by now since I have to get up early. Yet, I'm talking to Kara still, so who knows when I will (actually) get to bed.


Casual day (mostly)

Today today today... well I cleaned my room today after I got up. Talked to Kara on the phone for a little bit and tried to figure out what we were going to do today. After playing Paper Mario with my brother for a little while (like I usually do) I cleaned up my room (kinda) and then talked to Mitch on the phone for a while. Then Kara, Mitch and I went to shoot pool. We discovered that a bunch of the video games already had credit to play on it. So, we played on those for free for a little while on and off while we played pool and just had a good time. After that, I went to mutual like usual. For a combined activity next month, we were supposed to write down a question about girls that we had on a piece of paper, which would be given to the girls (next month) and answered. I serioulsy could not figure out a single question about women that I wanted to ask. Not because I was embareassed to, but because I simply didn't have any to ask. Any questions about women I have ever had, I either find out from listening to one of my female friends (which is the majority of my friends) or asking one. A big thanks to Kara, Jessie B., Jessie J., Bethany, and any other women in my life who are always there to answer questions. (And a thank you to Kara and Jessie B for answering some of my more embareassing questions). Maybe I should write a book ;).

Im a little ticked right now, only because I really wanted to play guitar but cant because im waking everyone up. maybe I will go outside and practice. I really do love guitar. Easily one of the best things I have done. Guitar and writing are my two ways of truly expressing myself and getting out emotion. When I write, I raise whatever pain/emotion I am feeling to the highest point it reaches. Writing is like...bleeding. Thats the only way I can explain it. As I write, I pour all my emotion into my work to create something productive, something tangeble. It's as if I am transfering my emotion into words, which I can read later if I need a reminder of an emotion. It is somewhat like building an immunity to pain. Once I have felt a certain kind of pain to the highest extent, everything less is insignificant.

Thats why I love writing. Writing music is great as well and helps express emotion in writing even more. It is my escape from the sorrows of the world. From the pain of mortality. My passion. A salvation from life. I love it.

Well, with that I wrap up my rant. two days till I have to go to school... 5 till school starts... dang.

Oh, by the way, be sure to check out my latest 'Salvation from Suicide' at FYI, I am in no way suicidal. That song is a story about a girl who has lost all will to live. Morbid, of course. There's times I wish I could write 'happy' songs. I can't remember the last time that happened. I am most pleased with my work when it is dark. Anyways, enjoy and be sure to place a comment.


Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Double Feature, the events of Sunday and Monday (gasp!)

Well, Sunday I got up and went to my little family reunion deal. Saw Amanda and Brandi for the first time in like a year, which was awesome. We just started talking and picked up where we left off. After that, the rest of the evening was kinda laid back.

Today got up and mowed my grandpa's lawn. Made 71 bucks on ebay today. Went and registered for school, tried to register for Guitar lessons at Crescent, but they tried to rip us off, so we aren't going to do lessons with them. Came back home and hung out for the rest of the evening. Played guiar for at least two hours today, most of it spent practicing Good Riddance (Time of your life) which is a majorly kick-A song. Talked to Kara on the phone for about five minutes before she went to eat and watch a movie with her family. The little spoiled brat blew a little too much money at the mall today (lol). She deserves it though, at least thats what she tells me ;).

Planning on doing something with her tomorrow. What we are doing is TBA. Meaning, that we will decide at the last minute as usual. Which is never a problem and is usually fun.

-Pyro (who gets to direct seventh graders around all day Friday... Oh joy.)

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Hole In My Stomach, All Day Long

We went to my dad's high school reunion and I watched the kids the whole time basically. Not extremely fun, but good for my dad to be able to see his old friends again. After that, we hung out at my grandparents for a while and I talked to Elise online. Then we went school shopping and I got some sweet Vans. I really needed new shoes. Then I got two T Shirts and some Cargo Shorts and that was pretty much the highlight of my night. Got home at who knows when and put up some sheetrock and more soundboard. I gotta get that room done...

Well, I hopefully will see Amanda and Brandi tomorrow at the reunion. I have a ton to talk to them about. We'll see how it all goes.

Oh, and check out my new poetry/songs site. Enjoy.


The Events of Saturday

Alright, well it's Saturday morning and the nausea is pretty much gone and I've stopped shaking. I hate major breakdowns... But I guess it was good this time. I'm finally going to do something about it this time. I won't hold back anymore. I can't live like this.

So, I'll do something about it. Hopefully today if I get a chance. I have to go to my dad's High School reunion in Salt Lake sometime today unfortunately. If I am lucky and can dog out of that then I may go to Aaron's for a bit. Lets just hope everything works out. Last week before school...

Yesterday, as a family we all went to eat at Los Hermanos. Then our car battery died, so we had to have my Aunt Trudy jump our car and then we headed to Checker Auto. After we put a new battery in our car, we went bowling at BYU. I won, but screwed up my knee, back, and wrist... gall I am always broken. After BYU, we went to the BYU cremery to grab some ice creme. Then we went home for a little bit till Shrek 2 started. And then went to see Shrek 2. After we got home, I talked to Mitch online for a little then tried to call Kara. Then I talked to Jessie for the remainder of the evening. Thanks Jessie, don't know what I would ever do without you. Your the best.

Alright, well I figure I better get ready for the day. It's gonna be interesting...


Friday, August 13, 2004

Can't Post Tonight

I am literally shaking from head to toe and can't think straight, so I will need to fill everyone in on the evening tomorrow. A big thank you to Jessie and Story of the Year. Both seem to help me with my problems.


Thursday, August 12, 2004

Dwelling on the past

The All American Rejects... a sure sign that I have been dwelling back to the beginning of last year's school year. Meaning, my eighth grade year. I have been in an AAR mood and for some reason, I don't immediately switch from one of their songs to another song by an entirely different artist... amazing. A tolerance level, reminder of the past, and new found appreciation for the lyrics have been developed. The only thing these guys sing about is heartache. How it happens, the effects after. They don't wander anywhere else and don't take the same perspective on heartache that I usually do. When I write about heartache, if I am really depressed and have to get it all out usually my result becomes something more... I guess you could say 'goth'. Something darker then the 'emo sob story' stuff they sing. Gall, the only reference to bleeding is in 'Paper Heart'. Yet, somehow after listening to 'American Idiot' (by Green Day) time and time again, I ran into AAR and started listening again. It's so sad and bouncy at the same time, its crazy. Not like the kick-A punk grunge stuff I'm listening too right now. For some reason, I am enjoying AAR now though.

Gall, one year ago, where was I? Lets fast forward to the first week of September. I had my birthday, had just met Kara (who would have thought that meeting her would change everything this last year), Dave and I were going to go to the Evanescence concert where slutty women offered to flash us in exchange for our tickets (we needed money so we said 'no'), school had just started, I met a million new people and established a ton of new friendships... wow.

Oh yeah, Dave had burned me Evanescence, Good Charlotte (my first real introduction to punk, even though they are really a pop-punk band), and oh yeah, All American Rejects (lol). That was the start of real music for me (other then Nickelback, which was my first metal band).

That is a whole lot of major events that occured within a month's time. By the second week of September, everything had changed and would only change even more. By the second week of October, Kara and I were going out. By the first week of November, both Jessie Brauer and Jessie Jackman became good friends of mine (and have only gotten closer). And as soon as new years hit... it was a whole new ballgame...

But we won't launch into New Years. Those who were there knew what happened and everything that occured afterward. And they would agree with me that everything changed. It would take too long to talk about anyways. Infact, I dont wanna brief the rest of the year right now either. So I'll stop at reflecting now.

Point is, in just two weeks a ton had happened. Within a month even more changed, two months, even more. Four months, everything changed. One year...

One year, there isn't hardly anything left that is the same. I still hold onto old friends, have acquired many new ones, restored old ones, and became best friends with someone who I truly treasure. My taste in hobbies has changed, taste in music has been developed, experiences have grown, faith has been tested, everything.

I guess the most important thing though, is I now know how hard and worth it it is to truly love someone. I know what it is like to truly love someone and all the challenges and emotional rollercoasters to go on. Every day over the past year there has not been a single day when I haven't thought about it. About her. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done, and definately one of the best. No matter how hard it has been and if she will never love me, I'm happy if I can do anything in my power to see her smile. See her truly happy. I hope that in the end, everything will be the way it should be. Whatever the results would be. Lets hope the next year is going to kick some major-A. I am definately looking forward to it. Best of luck to all of you.



I slept in late today. Real late. Simply because I didn't want to get up and stayed up late the previous night. Heck, I am still tired. Took a quick trip to Walmart to pick up some stuff (new phone because the old one we had tended to make a scary screeching sound in our ears when we were on the phone with someone. Both Kara and Mitch should be able to vouch for that). Borrowed some money and bought Green Day - Incomniac for John's B-day (to try to get him off of that Rap crap that he listens too). Lately, Green Day has been the band that I've been listening too a ton. Green Day rocks for those of you stupid enough not to listen to them.

Anywho, went to John's around 1pm or so and hung out for a bit. Played a few games of tennis with him over at Discovery Park then we came back and headed to Seven Peaks. Got a little more crispy at Seven Peaks and had some fun over there. I got kinda tired quick though, just because I had been running around and been sleep deprived a lot. After Seven Peaks, came back and ate some cake and pizza and stuff and watched The Italian Job till about ten. Then I headed home.

Got back and watched The Search For Red October until I got tired and went to bed.

Anyways, that was my day. Who knows what I will do today (its now Thursday morning). I'm just talking to Trisha right now and I will have to get up and work most of today. Cleaning the house and mowing/weeding the back yard... oh joy. I won't be able to do anything with Kara till like Monday. Friday, I'm supposed to do some 'family thing' because my dad is comming home, so that should be fun. We'll probably end up going somewhere, but who knows where yet. Then Saturday my dad has some High School reunion thing I would really rather not go to. Here is hoping I don't have to. My mom doesnt want to go either, so lets hope she doesn't have to go. Ten days left till school starts... which is a good and bad thing. In a way I'm excited because I have a feeling that a lot will change this year and hopefully something good will come out of it. The downside is, it's school. I have a ton of extremely hard classes. Algebra II, Honor's English, Yearbook, and a bunch of other fun filled classes. So, we will see how it goes I guess. I will be making sure that this last week will be a blast. I gotta plan it all out now and hope it all works out. Gotta figure out what I have to do (and when I have to do it) and see when I have open. Lets hope this last week is our best everyone.


Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Volleyballs and Swimming Suits (with special featurette, guitar lecture)

Got up at like eight today (again) and Kara picked me up at nine and we went to her volleyball tryouts. After that was over we walked back to her house and I was there for about twenty min or so. Saw the pictues of the night Jessie, Kara and I were drunk/high/on crack (who knows what). I don't dare disclose details here, I'll just say it involves 80's music, a broom, and some 'interesting dancing'.

*ahem* well, after that we planned on going swimming. So Kara and I got Trisha and Beth to come swimming with us. Swimming was fun. Basically just goofed off the whole time (like there is ever a time when we don't). Beth and Trish tend to be kinda closed up whenever I'm around. Bugs the crap out of me, but oh well. Not like there aren't things about me that bug them. I really am way too much of a touchy feely kinda guy. I like hugs, anyone got a problem with it? Oh well, not like I can change anything or like I'll change. Thank goodness for the people willing to put up with me. I can't see how you do it.

After being nice and crispy after swimming, I played Paper Mario with my little bro and played guitar till mutual. I really really wish I didn't have to go to mutual. I much rather would have gone to Shrek 2 with Kara, Trish, and Patrick (Kara's cousin). Going to Shrek 2 would have meant that I would have gotten to know Patrick and that would have been cool, cause he seems like a really awesome guy. Two years of guitar under your belt helps anyone look cool though. That and he complimented my Gibson SG. It's nice to find someone who can appreciate how truly awesome that SG is.

Listening to the great old stuff by Dashboard Confessionals, when it was all acoustic. Sometimes it is just great to sit down and listen to the great acoustic stuff there is. Acoustic guitarists are truly skilled because in my opinion, electric is so much easier. Most rock today is based on a mix of powerchords, cool riffs, and occasional solos. Acoustic playing tends to stay away from power chords and distortion and go back to the good old chords. Along with some really funky chords that I have never even heard of or attempted to play. I can't even tell you how to play CCD, I should probably learn though. It all comes with time.

Anyways, for those of you who are stuck in 'power chord hell' (a stage most newbie guitarists run into, where they play nothing but powerchords), pick up an acoustic guitar and remember how awesome that thing can sound. No kick butt amp or pedal required.

For those of you who dont even play guitar, pick one up. Or learn the drums, because the world is always in need of a good drummer too.

Donations are greatly appreciated. My guitar will love you forever


Women in tight shorts

Today, woke up at like eightish and got ready to go watch Kara tryout for Volleyball. Went to the high school and found where everyone was trying out. No Kara. So, I sat and watched for five or so minutes. It was kinda interesting. Many of those poor girls looked like they had never played volleyball before. And NONE of them should have been wearing the tight shorts they were... ug... there was like only ONE cute girl there (two, but kara didnt show).

So, after like an hour or so, I called Kara and found out wherever the heck she was. Turned out she wasn't feeling great so she was going to try out Tuesday... good heck. Everyone was apparently trying to find me but couldnt because I was standing up in the rafters, so we didnt see each other or something.

Anyways, that was fun and at least I did get to see Kara because she came to the high school to give me a ride.

Went to my grandparents and mowed the lawn. Wasnt feeling extremely great today... so I played guitar for most of the day. Then we had to run to the mall. I found a quicksilver shirt that was cool so I bought it. Then I went to the guitar store and checked out their pedals. Found the one I want, which will cost me about fifty bucks (which I will have to come up with after I get cash for my Gibson SG... oh SG...*drool*).

After that, came home and called Kara. Then cleaned out the car and went to go see Around the World in 80 days with my family. Not an amazing show, alright and mildly entertaining. 3 out of 10.

Now I'm back and just talking to Bethany for a little bit before bed. Lets hope I feel half decent tomorrow. No more feeling sick.

Praying for money from ebay auctions. Lets hope so...


Monday, August 09, 2004

Interesting Sunday...

Well, I decided that this blog is much better then Xanga, so I made the switch. Anywho today has been interesting. I have been listening to Motion City Soundtrack a lot of today. I swear, the top three songs of the last week are 'Vindicated' by Dashboard Confessional, 'The Future Freaks me out' by Motion City Soundtrack, and 'Champagne' by Sugarcult. I have listened to these three bands a ton recently. They are all awesome so for those of you who haven't heard any of them (especially Motion City Soundtrack) go pick up their CD's or find them on iTunes.

Today was my lazy day to fall apart and not feel good. Played Paper Mario with my little brother for like four hours today... holy crap I haven't played games for a very very long time. I forgot how awesome Paper Mario is. I guess 'E' rated games can be fun too (lol).

So, hung around the house today. Then I had to go to a fireside at like seven and I was telling Kara that I had to give a talk in the meeting. She said she wanted to come and see me. I told her that it was alright and she didn't need to sit though that. But of course, being Kara, she came.

So, we sat through the meeting together, occasionally making comments and having fun. Got up and did my little bit (which was seriously a little over a minute and a half long) and then sat back down with Kara. After we got a little bored, I ended up making a paper airplane out of my little paper program and then turned it into a duck (because who has time to figure out how to make a swan, seriously).

Then after the meeting, there were refreshments and stuff. Talked to Austin for a real short time and got a few colorful comments from the girls in my ward, poking fun at Kara and I. Also talked to Arin for a little and walked around outside. Then came inside and called Kimball while we waited for Kara's mom to come and give us a ride.

Got home and played with my little brother for a bit. Plan for tomorrow is wake up and go to Kara's Volleyball tryouts at nine (wow, extremely early) then who knows what for the rest of the day. No clue what the plan is for the rest of the week. I'm feeling pretty good and happy now, so lets hope it stays that way for the rest of the week. Not too much longer till my B day, and hopefully not too longer till I get my SG. I really gotta sell my old guitar...


Saturday, August 07, 2004

The Week that I never posted on.

Wow, it sure has been quite a long time since my last rant. Last Friday, wow that’s like a record for me. Let me think what has happened since Friday…

Saturday, all I can remember doing is working on my room (I think). Monday, I remember going over to my grandpa’s, but not really the rest of the day. I think I called Kara on Monday, but like I don’t call her every day anyways. Anyways, no real huge anything Monday either that I can recall. Tuesday, played Dodgeball for YM and screwed up my knee again then Shaun and I worked on the basement some more. Wednesday, Kara, Lonny, Kimball and I all went to go see Napoleon Dynamite which was an extremely funny show. I enjoyed it. Then Kara and I went to the High School after the movie and fixed her schedule then wandered around trying to find her classes just for fun. Thursday we cleaned the house and Kara, Lonny, and Kimball came over later in the evening and we all talked and watched Meet the Parents.

Then came Friday…

Friday, I went to the mall and bought some pants and stuff. Then went to Bert Murdock to play with their guitars… and I found it.

I found a Gibson SG. Yes, I finally found one. I immediately asked the guy behind the counter (his name is Mckay) if I could play it and how much it was. I played while he went to find out (cause it didn’t have a price tag on it). Oh my gosh, it was so freaking amazing. Clean as can be pickups (actually, its possible to install even BETTER ones), extremely fast neck and…. Ooo…

First word that came to mind was ‘beautiful’.

The dude came back and said ‘It’s $499.99’. I almost crapped a brick in my pants. A mere five hundred dollars for a $1200 dollar guitar. He said it had been used for only about three months and had been bought by a collector. It still had the plastic cover over the pic guard… holy crap.

I instantly went out to the car and told my mom about it on the way home, promising Mckay I would return for my baby. Then I got my cash from home and put a down payment of 105 on it. I can get my guitar as soon as I come up with the other $425 that I owe on it and I gotta pay for it within three months according to their terms. So… I get one hundred for my birthday, have some ebay auctions going, and am trying to sell my other electric (ANYONE WHO IS INTERESTED PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP! I’m selling it for $130. Great condition).

After my guitar happiness, Kara, Lonny and I went to shoot pool. That was fun, Kara desperately needed to get out of the house apparently. Found a plastic spider and had fun freaking Kara out with that for a while. Making her scream is funny. Then we played air hockey and used the spider as a puck. It kinda got stuck in the goal so we made the guys fix it and kinda walked away from that machine…

Saturday, Shaun came over and we worked more on my bedroom. Then I went to my aunt Trudy’s house for this barbeque. Then we went grocery shopping. I came home, played guitar and talked to Bethany for a little bit. Now I’m in bed listening to Motion City Soundtrack. The end of my long week. Only two left till school starts unfortunately…